Monthly Archives: August 2011

Faith through the tough times

At church this past weekend, our pastor talked about crisis. How we get through it, how God works change within us, and our reactions to it. He quoted several verses about Jacob from Genesis.

One of the things he mentioned was that we each need to admit that we are the “problem.” Reality check? Yes, something like that. The talk was interspersed with scenes from the movie Fireproof. Dreadful acting aside, it’s a movie with a message worth noticing. Which reminded me, I have The Love Dare as an ebook from the library on my phone. And I hadn’t looked at it.

Hmm … Day 1 — say nothing negative to your spouse. I tried it. I almost made it through the whole day. I am trying again today. Our toddler woke up crying with a leaky diaper. While I was changing her on our bed my husband made grouchy, sarcastic remarks. I hissed, “Callate!” at him. Whoops! Let’s just put that one behind us and continue on …

I know that making God the central focus of my life makes my life better. Always. It is during the tough times when I get too introspective, too discouraged, and overly cynical that I struggle to stay close to Him. I don’t make time to read the Bible. I don’t focus on prayer. I get very caught up in the drama that is my life.

At this time I have an ex who is contentious and argumentative. My oldest stepdaughter isn’t talking to me because of something my younger stepdaughter told her. I have no idea what it is, but she unfriended me on facebook because of it. Trust me, this is a BIG deal. Before the end of her visit my younger stepdaughter got angry with me and told me that I am “just a stepmom!” Ouch. I sure cried over that one.

My husband is disappointed and angry with both of his older daughters. He carries a grudge against my older daughter. Blended family drama stinks! I honestly think we need to be in ongoing therapy with our children in order to navigate this life peacefully. (sigh)

These ARE tough times. I need to be more active in my pursuit of God. I need to replenish my faith, fill my glass. I don’t want to just muddle through life, I want to live it beautifully and joyfully.

 

Who’s with me?


Confusion Sets In

Summertime visitations are at an end. We’re down to just three of us here at home. I have time to write again and what I have to share isn’t very uplifting.

My ex refuses to let my children visit me this weekend. It is more convenient for him to switch our weekend to Labor Day. Nope, sorry, not going to do it. Well, I didn’t apologize to him. I flat out told him no, I would not switch my weekend. He didn’t ask. He told me that my two weeks with the kids changed our schedule. Nope. It didn’t. He later texted me that I’m mean and an abusive bully and that he is my target now.

Those of you who know me should be laughing.

So, now I won’t see my kids for three weeks. Just because I refuse to be manipulated and pushed around … because I am no longer his doormat … I’m a bully?

The other situation that has me frustrated and puzzled involves … well, I suppose that may be best left off of my blog. I am truly confused and saddened. It’s the main reason I started writing tonight. (sigh)


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