Second marriage, second chance

I stand in awe of my husband. Sometimes I stand in frustration. At all times I stand in love.

My husband is an immigrant to the U.S. He is bilingual. He is biliteral. He is bicultural. He has overcome more difficulties than I can imagine. He truly comes from a world that is foreign to me.

Most of the time he seems just like me. White, middle class, educated …   and then I see him interact with people from his home country, in their native language, and I am struck by the fact that he lives a dual life of sorts — and that with it he possesses a skill far beyond my understanding. He’s had experiences that I cannot fathom.

Sometimes that duality feels like a wall between us. Other times, I think that maybe I will never run out of things to learn about him.

Embarking  on a second marriage is a huge risk. It is scary. Throw six kids into the mix and it is downright terrifying. There is so much at stake in creating a blended family. For those of us who have always dreamed of having a large loving family, but watched that dream die on our first attempt, it is a risk we have to take. I, for one, cannot let that dream slip away without giving my best effort to creating a successful marriage.


“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”   Ephesians 4:2 New International Version

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
1 Peter 4:8 New International Version

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
1 John 4:18 New International Version


3 responses to “Second marriage, second chance

  • Rebecca K

    So insightful! I think there’s nothing more than the grace of God that keeps marriages of any kind together.. Its just our nature to look for the walls and use them as such instead of the opposite that you pointed out, and the outcomes of one versus the other are so different.

  • Joyce

    I’m very glad you found a good, loving man. But I imagine that sometimes the way we all feel about each other is “Can’t live with em” “Can’t live without em” 🙂

    I am also surprised nearly every day at the breadth of his knowledge and how interesting he is. I am also amazed at how he reacts to the big, not so good things I’ve done (like backing the car into a tree next to the garage) minor and has (in the past) had fits over believing I lost a can opener 🙂 I’m so glad it’s that way and not the reverse. He gives the best hugs too!

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