Bonus, step, bio, blood — what do we call ourselves?

Politics get into every aspect of our lives. Labelling of our family types is not exempt.

While reading on a message board earlier this week, I came across a post that pointed out to a previous poster that the term “bio” had negative connotations and was frowned upon. Really? I’ve been referring to the children I’ve given birth to as “bio” kids for awhile. I like the sound of the word. I think it is descriptive and accurate.

So, if not bio, what? “Blood?” Yuck!  “Natural?”  All kids are natural.  How about “my children from my previous relationship/marriage” or even more cumbersome and obnoxious, “my children with _______.”  No thanks!

Oh, I know! I should just say “my” kids and “his” kids. I really don’t like that at all. It removes our unity and puts separation in our family.

I have been aware for some time that “step” is not favored. I’ve tried out “bonus,” which has a nice ring to it and I am comfortable using it. But when talking to other people, will they understand me if I talk about my bonus daughters? Probably not, unless they have been reading about blended families lately.

So what do we do? Define ourselves and label ourselves as we like. 🙂


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